today

I wonder when I will fully grasp the importance of focusing on today and grabbing a hold of all that today has to offer. Will I ever grasp it is the question? Or will it be a lifelong struggle, part of my struggle on this journey to my personal legend? I'm a dreamer. I have come to accept that as one of the greatest beauties in my life and as one of the greatest curses. So often in life our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness and I have come to accept the fact that mine is that I am a dreamer. I dream all day long. Of a better life for all creation, of how to change the world, of how to put my small ideas into motion, of how to make my big dreams come to life, of how to take away the pain of my friends around me, how to take away the pain of the billions of people who don't have clean water or enough food or are dying of AIDS each day, how to love my neighbor as I love myself, how to serve God and serve others, of where I will finish up my education and what I will do once I have finished it, I wonder if the pain, the scar tissue that is over my heart will ever truly go away or if it will always be there as a reminder of the healing that Jesus has done in my life, I dream of holding orphans in Africa, I dream of a cleaner, greener earth, of ending global warming, of the church being united as one body under Christ, of ending the sex trade, of reading this book and that book and gaining all the wisdom and knowledge that life has to offer, of being an amazing guitar player, of working in a coffee shop in Portland, of living and building community with my best friends, of new wineskin, of a totally brand new "structure" for the church, of beautiful, blissful, peaceful parks, of sitting on the tractor helping my dad on the farm, of the day when i will truly find my home in myself and in the restful, loving arms of the Father, and on and on. But when will I stop, rest, look around and see the beauty that is right in front of me? When will I allow my heart to rest in this moment and truly live for today and all that today has to offer? How many more tragic things need to happen in my world until I embrace the reality that there is no guarantee for tomorrow? When will that day come? When will I rest my head on my pillow on that day and know that I have lived fully for today? When? I know that day will come. The hope that is in my soul for that day will never fail. And even with a statement like that, I am still looking forward and dreaming of a future day. "I love today." I long for myself to say those words. When will I "wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving"? When will I embrace the words of Jesus Christ "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when that time comes"? When? Today.